The last couple days I have been doing a lot of soul searching and luckily I was also able to have a couple good BDSM conversations on how folks see the lifestyle as it is presented online today these says.
I am learning not much is known on who and what a switch is, or as I learned another term for who and what I am… a Dominssive, a woman who can and will take control if needed but can and will willingly kneel to the right Dom and give him everything I have to give and then some I didn’t even know I had in me until He found and drew it out. That is if there is another one out there who really and truly gets me that is for I am indeed a complex human being. But I stray from my real writing here…
Being a switch, I find I am indeed an alpha woman with a submissive nature when that part of me is properly kindled. And before anyone gets to excited, that easier said than done. As for my taking the lead, usually it is with a submissive woman who I see or feel needs a guiding hand and a bit of self-reassurance it is more of a mental thing then a sexual thing for me though if given enough trust on both ends of the spectrum I can and would take it to a sexual level upon occasion. As for who can fit the shoes to dominant me, a strong minded old school male who wants in my mind every bit as much as he wants to see me kneeling at His feet yearningly. One who will not try and change the woman I am, but instead help me further blossom into the woman I can become. One who is sure enough of himself that my being strong does not make him stumble or doubt his self-worth or want to smash that part of me to feel that much more of a man.
I suppose that leads me to my thoughts and views on a D/s or M/s relationship and how that works in my not so humble opinion… well… for me such a relationship varies person to person but what it means personally to me is two souls conjoining into one that live in separate vessels of flesh but are one in the heart and the mind. In time the two learn each other so well that the Dom knows when the sub needs a yank on the leash so to speak and a sub will learn to anticipate the Dom’s needs, the one always complimenting the other, always there for each other no matter the capacity of need. And yes, both have needs, needs that need to be met or neither can truly be happy in the end.
Sadly today people come online to find and explore the Lifestyle known as BDSM the reason for some is because it is the only way they can, such as myself, at least for now though I have lived offline before, and for others it is because they are too afraid to explore out in the real life world, which is sad and to bad because online mostly to be found is liars and game players who come on to simply get their rocks off, self-proclaimed Doms’ who know nothing truly about the lifestyle. Self-proclaimed submissives who act like ill-mannered spoiled little brats who sadly others call princesses which pisses me off as to be a real princess, it takes a lot of work and most princesses I know act with grace displaying polished behavior and manners dripping with elegance. To the brats, the call it acting as a challenge, but again in my not so humble opinion it is just a bunch of catty women acting like brats to get any kind of attention they can. A true and wanting submissive acts at all times, collared or not in a manner fitting one to be proud of, not to say she cannot be playful and flirty, but they do so with manners and style. Don’t get me wrong, a good slutty conversation now and then does not make you a bad girl, it just makes you well rounded, but if that is all you talk about and only way you know how to be a bad girl you just may be.
Dominants in my opinion should have polished refined old school manners with the street smarts of a biker, the prowess of a gigolo and a brain so deep there is no end to it, but so should the submissive so to speak, but a slut for her dominant she should be. Now how does my being a switch figure into all of this, well I am and have been a bit more bi-curious than I have been in the past, were as before I could and would Domme a female, usually it was just in a public scene where she would only be submitting to a public spanking or flogging in a local club I used to go to and whose play parties I would attend, but now I find as I grow older and more open minded I am open to exploring deeper levels of being with another submissive woman, and possibly in the right situation in a poly setting with the right male Dominant, though that would take a lot of trust and a lot of work, and something most forget about, fully open and honest lines of communication.
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