This is a subject prone to a variety and diversity of opinion. However, I will share my personal view on it, in hopes that you will decide what makes most sense for you, and in turn what you may seek in a relationship and a partner.
To begin, I see both Dominant and submissive as equal. Just because one decides to offer a gift of submission does not in some way lessen them as a human being, nor in their part in the relationship. And in being Dominant, we were not born with some sort of superiority. The fact that we have a dominant role in our lifestyle does not give us some greater sense of worth. Let's remember, the power in a D/s relationship flows from the submissive to the Dominant, in the form of the submission offered freely. There are many that might then conclude that it is actually the submissive with all the power in a relationship. For the Dominant only has what is given by choice, and can not independently take what is not given freely.
My personal views on the equality of submissives is evident in the manner in which I master. I value the opinions of my submissive. I openly ask for them. And she is involved in every aspect of our relationship, including her discipline. I still make the final decisions as Master, but I also know that she is intelligent and capable. That she has much to add to our relationship. And in recognizing that, she is less prone to feel dictated to, resentful or hurt. In point of fact, she is more likely to feel that it is a RELATIONSHIP.
Your relationship with your One may not be the same as ours. And I wouldn't expect it to be. However, I would recommend that you view both partners in a D/s relationship as equal. It will be more rewarding, and enjoyable for you both. And I promise you Dominants out there, you will be further challenged, and experience more personal and lifestyle growth as a result. Without it, you are stagnant.
And yes, Dominants learn and grow with the aid of their submissives. But then, that is another chapter.
Rover«§» © 2001
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