The Ceremony of the Roses
The formal lifestyle is filled with traditions and ceremonies that are seldom witnessed by the outside world and perhaps one of the most moving and meaningful is the "bonding ritual" or Ceremony of the Roses. This ceremony is steeped in symbolism and mystique that dates back for centuries. Here is a brief description of what it involves and means
An Eternal Bond A couple who has decided to remain together for the duration of their lives and beyond will often opt for this ritual as a symbolic statement of their eternal commitment. It is sometimes used to renew a relationship that has gone through a difficult time and survived the test. There are many variations and couples often choose to add special touches to make it uniquely theirs.
The ceremony is never public. Most often only the couple and one or two of their closest associates attend. The submissive carries a single white rose, not quite in full bloom. The Dominant holds a single red rose that is opened almost fully. Both roses must have thorns on their stems and be freshly cut. To perform two other parts of this ritual, a 6-8 foot length of light chain is also required along with several candles or an alcohol burner (or other liquid fuel , such as a good serving dish might use).
The couple, along with one or two of their closest friends, stand facing each other. The submissive, wearing a simple dress, holds her single white rose. Her Dominant, holding his red rose, removes her collar. He passes it quickly through the flames of a small burner and returns it to her neck. As he fastens it securely, he makes a declaration to her that he will protect and guide her for all of eternity.
With a thorn on the stem of his red rose, he pricks her middle finger and lets two drops of blood fall on the white petals of her rose. She then offers the thorns of her rose to him and he pricks his own finger. He lets two drops fall to her rose, one alone and one on top of a drop of hers. The two then press their fingers together and make their vows to be joined by blood.
Their witnesses or friends take a length of light-weight chain and pass it quickly though the flame and wrap it around the couple. They again make their vows to be bound by their souls for eternity. The roses are touched together, letting the blood from hers kiss his, and are then exchanged. The chain is removed and wrapped carefully in a cloth to be given to the couple when the ceremony has ended. The roses are put into a single vase and will later be taken to their private chamber to remain as a reminder to them as they contemplate their new bond that night while joining their bodies.
In the morning, they share their hopes and dreams of being together for eternity and pluck the petals from the roses to place them in a container together. These petals are kept for the lifetime of the couple and a portion of them are buried with each in death. The chain is passed down in the family or given to an honored friend who will use it in their own bonding ceremony.
The Symbolism Revealed
The significance of the roses
The white rose, still not in full bloom, symbolizes her submission. The white color represents the purity of her gift, while the still slightly closed petals show that her submission has not come into full bloom. It never will. Submission is ever deepening, ever growing and the submissive will never reach a place where she cannot open a bit more for her Dominant. The red rose, almost fully open, signifies his dominance. The red represents his passion and desire to posses and protect her at all costs, though it may require him to spill his blood to do so. The rose is almost in full bloom to symbolize that he is ready and mature enough to accept the responsibilities required of him.
In older times, the collar would have been made of metal and heated to a glow and plunged into cold water to temper it after it was burned of all impurities. This action symbolized the removing of all impurities from the circle of ownership provided by the Dominant. All outside influences are burned away in the heat of his desire to protect and defend his submissive. The tempering of the metal that takes place when plunged into cold water shows the strengthening of their commitment by submersion into the waters of life. Today we only symbolize this by passing the collar quickly though the flame, taking care not to damage it. (Note: The use of an alcohol burner in place of a candle prevents any carbon residue from getting on the collar, although there will probably be none if the action is performed quickly enough.)
The significance of the blood:
Pricking the finger of the submissive is symbolic of taking her virginity. She has shed blood to give herself completely to him. The drops on the white rose also speak of the same thing. In pricking his own finger, the dominant shows his willingness to shed his blood to protect and defend her by virtue of his ownership. The drops on her rose show that vividly; the drop that falls on her blood covers it and blends with it, thus indicating their union. Pressing the wounds from the thorns together allows their blood to mix, joining them as stongly as their own family blood-lines. They are now of the same flesh and blood. Exchanging the roses is symbolic of their gift of themselves to each other
The significance of the chain:
The chain is a series of links that represent all the events that have led them to be joined. Each one interlocks with another to complete the chain. Passing it through the flame symbolizes the purification of all the events in their time together as well as their pasts. All bad things are burned away into forgetfulness and only the good remains. Wrapping the chain around them gives a visual image of the binding together of two souls into one. This chain is never used for anything again, other than in a similar ceremony by the person who receives this chain as a gift. They are often passed down for decades or even centuries and are honored by those fortunate enough to receive such a gift.
The significance of the petals:
The mixture of the petals signifies the mixing and blending of their lives. Couples often keep them in a decorative jar, once the petals have dried completely. Upon death, a portion of those petals are placed with the body to show a bond that will extend beyond the grave. Many legends are told of roses that have sprung up on the graves of couples who have loved so strongly during their physical lifetime that even in death they sent back evidence of their everlasting love in the form of roses that bloom again on the graves.
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